What are you afraid of?

I didn't think that my fear of roaches, moldy bread or the dark would make for a very good post. Neither would the fact that I usually get afraid if I watch too many episodes of Criminal Minds or America's Most Wanted.

My biggest fear hands down is heights. I am terrified of heights. Like terrified. It can be paralyzing. There is even something about standing on the second floor of the mall and looking over the banister that scares me. I had a dream the other night that I was standing on the edge of a building and I fell. This morning I had an epiphany. I am really not scared of heights per say. I am scared of falling.

Falling is painful. I think babies crawl longer than they should after they realize how painful it is to fall on your behind. I think I'm like that too. I don't like to fall. It hurts. It can be shameful and even embarrassing. Like walking, we often set goals for ourselves. We make our minds up that we are not going to curse, lose our tempers, fornicate, or eat better. But sometimes along the way we fall down. I don't like that feeling. 

It's so much easier to just crawl so that I never have to experience the pain of falling. It's so much easier to crawl into bed or crawl into a good book than to let go and fall in love. Because if I fall in love I might get hurt. It's much easier to crawl and stay in my same job position because if I walk into this promotion I might fall. People will laugh if I fall. 

That sinking feeling I get in my stomach when I'm driving across a bridge is the same feeling I get before I try something new. I am making plans to conquer this fear. I know I am not ready to jump out of an airplane yet, but I am willing to take an elevator to the top floor and look down (holding on the the railing of course). Everybody falls. I can't let my fear of falling cripple me from enjoying life and taking risks. Fall into greatness. What is your fear and how will you overcome it?

Baby steps. 

Yo's Truly,

Yolanda